tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2226876762714358061.post686308743841766721..comments2023-08-14T10:23:04.082-04:00Comments on My Green vermont: Temples of the Holy Ghost/Occasions of SinEulalia Benejam Cobbhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13247079657985430691noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2226876762714358061.post-42066911009974114472017-11-22T11:59:23.262-05:002017-11-22T11:59:23.262-05:00"I believed that, if I worked hard enough at ..."I believed that, if I worked hard enough at it, I could have what I wanted - and I get the ONE disease where you can live the rest of your life on the outside, looking in, and not be able to do a THING about working hard enough to make yourself well." You have said exactly what I feel. CFS is the ultimate irony for us achieving types--kind of like Beethoven's deafness (except that he did manage to keep composing, because deafness doesn't kill the vital spark, the way CFS does).Eulalia Benejam Cobbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13247079657985430691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2226876762714358061.post-25730580193647001452017-11-22T10:36:18.938-05:002017-11-22T10:36:18.938-05:00You're right about Sweden and such countries; ...You're right about Sweden and such countries; the one thing that saddens me about them is a huge rise in children being brought up in a web instead of nuclear families - because of the very high divorce and single-mother rates. I'm not sure that's worked out yet.<br /><br />I believed that, if I worked hard enough at it, I could have what I wanted - and I get the ONE disease where you can live the rest of your life on the outside, looking in, and not be able to do a THING about working hard enough to make yourself well.<br /><br />When I have time to follow it up, I will look further into the story of Colleen McCullough, the amazing Australian author of The Thorn Birds. She was a major scientist for a significant portion of her life; I need to see what caused her to have to give up science and turn to writing.<br /><br />I don't believe in the 'everything happens for a reason' meme/trope/folk saying. But I do believe you either do what you can with what you have - or give in to despair. And you only have to square it with yourself.<br /><br />You did an awful lot of things. ABEhrhardthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17211038591900883672noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2226876762714358061.post-4839548763609258292017-11-22T09:00:45.794-05:002017-11-22T09:00:45.794-05:00Oh Alicia, this makes me so sad. I too suspect th...Oh Alicia, this makes me so sad. I too suspect that my desire to have it all had something to do with my developing CFS. But the last thing you should feel is guilt. This country and its culture are, even today, inimical to working families, especially working mothers. Things might have turned out differently had we lived in Sweden or Denmark.Eulalia Benejam Cobbhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13247079657985430691noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2226876762714358061.post-5597839779000360352017-11-21T23:28:09.707-05:002017-11-21T23:28:09.707-05:00When we tried to have it all - PhD in Nuclear Engi...When we tried to have it all - PhD in Nuclear Engineering, husband, three children, job at Princeton - some of us got sick.<br /><br />The reason men got away with appearing to have everything is that they had wives to carry the homefront and the kids.<br /><br />We were lied to: there are only 24 hours in a day.<br /><br />And we were also supposed to be healthy and thin and ...<br /><br />Or something. And I still feel guilty I couldn't do it all, successfully - I was going to show them, my family, that I was good enough to do all that. Apparently, I wasn't.<br /><br />Those who managed it usually had only one kid.<br /><br />It was a lovely deam.ABEhrhardthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17211038591900883672noreply@blogger.com